[NOTE: Frank has a neuromuscular disorder and is wheelchair bound.]
This evening I attended an introductory session to the upcoming class Creating a Life That Matters. Apparently, this has been a life-changing event for past attendees. Some changed careers, started pursuing life-long dreams, changed relationships, and even redirecting their own spiritual journey. We were each given a few minutes to share why we are taking the class and what we are expecting from it. Not surprising the responses varied widely given the group’s social diversity, levels of education, and lifetimes of accumulated religious baggage.
It was Frank’s turn to speak. He said that he just doesn’t know how to contribute to the church since he can’t give money nor volunteer like everyone else does. He paused as he became noticeably despondent. The awkward silence was pierced when he blurted out that he was considering physician assisted suicide. I don’t know which was more riveting; my empathy for him, or the chilling reality of what this class may uproot in me. It’s as if his singular statement continued to reverberate through the silence as we all meekly tried to become transparent. I am pretty sure that I was not the only one to let out a sigh of relief when Robyn replied by default as the only clergy in the room.
On the way home, with the safety of time and space, I gained the courage to respond to Frank. Even with my own life-long struggle with the abyss of depression, I must admit that I can’t even imagine myself in his place. However, I also must admit that during that silence I saw something in Frank with amazing clarity and purpose.
I believe that we are all ultimately called upon to reconnect with our source so that, out of our own abundance, we can give unqualified love back to creation. As our gifts become less focused on the physical and worldly constructs of our daily lives, we find that their relevance begins to fall away in favor of true connectedness. As we realize that everything emanates from God, our source, we also learn that we are not of our bodies and its accomplishments. We ultimately become free when we surrender to the intentional energy that brought us into existence and from which we are currently materialized.
As we delve into the world of the invisible it does feel a little like the twilight zone. It is far less risky to only accept things that we can see, touch, smell, hear, or taste and reject everything else. However, just as school children we learned to form abstractions from the tangible, as spiritual children we are learning to move our consciousness from the world of form to the invisible realm.
This may be a difficult concept if you think you are your achievements. God writes all the music, God sings all the songs, God builds all the buildings, God is the source of all your achievements. I can hear your ego loudly protesting. Nevertheless, stay tuned to this idea. All emanates from Source! You and that Source are one! You’re not this body and its accomplishments. You are the observer. Notice it all; and be grateful for the abilities you’ve accumulated. But give all the credit to the power of intention, which brought you into existence and which you’re a materialized part of.
Dr. Wayne Dyer
As children, we likely started the journey to reconnect with our source in very tangible and, in retrospect, simplistic way. We learned generosity by putting a few coins, which our parents slipped to us just moments before, into the church collection basket. The finer points of tithing were modeled to us as 10% of our allowance money was parentally pried from our hands and into the collection basket each Sunday. However, there is no substitute for guilt to learn how to give sacrificially when asked by relatives what you will do with the windfall of cash gifts you received at your first communion.
Over time these experiences coalesce into effective habits so that as adults we feel rewarded by the act of giving itself. We transcend those parental antics of money shuffling as we start earning our own money and can simply write out a check for the offering plate. Some of us have graduated to more sophisticated giving by combining automatic withdrawals with formal tax and estate planning.
We used a similar progression to learn the value in the regular giving of our time and talents. Here too some have graduated to the level of donating pro bono services. Just as with our monetary gifts, the giving of time and talent gives us a good feeling knowing that we are doing important work.
Is this sacrificial giving?
Are we giving back by grace alone?
Perhaps.
Or, perhaps while growing up we also grew a little complacent, thinking we know all about giving time and treasure.
What if we didn’t have hands to sign a check? What if we didn’t have able bodies to volunteer for Cherish Our Church? Do we have to be able to see, touch, smell, hear, or taste something for it to exist? Surely, we are much more than our hands and feet!
Can we grasp the essence of a gift coming out of pure love and grace? Our true gift is not a check, or cash, or some object, or even our time. These things are merely chattel representing a far more profound gift: the gift of ourselves when we have reconnected with our source. Through God we experience the abundance of life energy that is neither created, nor destroyed, is without form, yet paradoxically is what everything tangible is made of. The concept that a thought is the same as an action is no longer just for mystics, it is the foregone conclusion of Quantum Mechanics. The giving of oneself simply does not require nor rely upon anything connected to this world!
Perhaps giving my means of our earthly treasures and talents is not so much a pinnacle, as it is a rest stop in our journey toward the source of true giving.
To attain inner peace, you must actually give your life, not just your possessions. When you at last give your life – bringing into alignment your beliefs and the way you live then, and only then, can you begin to find inner peace.
Peace Pilgrim
Perhaps we should view any physical form of a gift to be like training wheels. As children, we wouldn’t grasp the concept of giving by using automatic withdrawal from a bank account; we need something tangible to put in the collection basket. However, is there much difference between coins passing from parent to child to church, and dollars passing from employer to adult to church? I think we gradually come to learn that any physical form of a gift is merely a metaphor bridging the gap that still separates us from God.
Our gifts will likely take on many different forms throughout our spiritual journey. Some people could argue that a gift in physical form is childlike and not very valuable. Others could argue that a gift with no physical form is not reality based and has no earthly value. I don’t think that any one is more or less valuable than another. (While intangible gifts may be more spiritually mature, they don’t translate so well to earthly needs like paying our bills each month. Fortunately, those needs seem to be matched by the gifts of those who still use a primitive cash metaphor as part of their spiritual journey.)
It’s always about service. The highest pathway that we can get to, the Pathway of Surrender, is also called the Pathway of the Spirit. Jung talked about the archetypes of the Warrior, the Athlete, the Statesman, and ultimately the Spirit. When you’re asking the question about finding your purpose, you’re in the Athlete or Warrior stages. You’re asking the question, “What am I here for?” based upon what you are supposed to do with your body and your talents. But when you get past that, you realize that this isn’t who you are—you are not your body. Then you realize that the only thing you can do with your body and with your life is to give it away.
Dr. Wayne Dyer
I believe that God matches us up perfectly with our role in life. We can’t fail nor disappoint since the outcome was always known; we just need to act with complete faith and trust. I also believe that we are manifested here on earth to learn lessons from one another, and until a lesson is learned we will repeat it with different circumstances and/or teachers. I suspect that we often think we have graduated from a life stage not realizing that there was an underlying life lesson to be learned, or we fall short of grasping the essence of a lesson and then wonder why life keeps dishing us up the same drama. To me it seems insurmountable to understand what it would be to give in the form of pure energy without the bindings of our worldly bodies and possessions. I probably will take tiny incremental steps to fully understand these things.
Not all students require small incremental steps to learn abstract concepts. In the real world of education, a student that is particularly bright will likely skip a grade or two. Exceptional students may advance past high school and go directly to college. Prodigies advance to graduate school. Then there are those singularly gifted students that are so far out of the box that they drop out of school as they transcend the traditional curriculum. These individuals fully immerse themselves in the real world and learn as they go.
Frank, it seems to me that your laments about giving may reveal a very special blessing and calling. It seems to me that God has pushed you into the deep end of the pool of a life lesson. Forget the baby steps. Forget the training wheels. Forget the metaphors. These are all relics of what binds us to a hopelessly flawed world. The fastest way to learn something new is to take it head-on without the encumbrances of metaphors and a series of approximations. However, the clear majority of us can’t grasp concepts without taking many smaller steps. Head-on immersion would be like giving a jet plane instead of a tricycle to a child who wants to grow up to be an airline captain.
We can easily hear the need for money without leaving the shallow end of the pool. But just as there is someone ready to give a dollar for everyone needed, so too is the need for things less tangible. It may be harder to hear at the deep end of the pool, but someone has a need for every one of your gifts.
I have no way of knowing if my intuition is accurate, but I believe that you will emerge from the “deep end of the pool” with an ethereal strength and a knowing that holds me in awe.
I personally am convinced that you have been well chosen and qualified to advance to the “head of the class.” Your consistent presence and perseverance is testimony to your amazing character.
Peace,
Peter